Condor Liberation on her very first day,
Crashed into the pier side as she came to stay.
Oh dear! great big dent which needs a quick repair,
Trip to Poole now cancelled- we will repay your fare.
Not long after, steering went, and round and round they sailed,
A jury rig, Heath Robinson job was screwed and tied and nailed.
“We’re sorry folks for the delay- we have now docked at port,
We hope you’ll travel here again- it wasn’t all that fraught.”

Again, again, again, again, the boat is running late,
It takes too long to load the cars on pop’lar summer dates.
Comm’dore clipper fares no better, it really was bad luck,
The car deck failed to lower down, 12 hours we were stuck.
Remember the time she grounded in the channel at low tide,
The rock it just jumped out at us, a naughty pouque doth hide!
The latest trip right up to date to dock at Poole, the pier
Took 6 hours to get across, so much for yuletide cheer.

So is it quicker now to fly- air better than the sea?
It’s not as cheap to travel, extra bags a bigger fee.
Book on now 6 months ahead, it’s cheaper here online.
Turn up on time but “Sorry madam you have to stay behind,
They’ve overbooked too many people seated on the plane,
“Now, now madam, don’t get cross, we really aren’t to blame.”

The fog can be a problem when the planes they cannot land,
Your journey cross the chan-nel is not as you have planned.
You wait around, the hours pass, they’ve “cancelled” now your flight.
Here have a voucher for the cafe, it must be spent tonight.
But cafe is closed, well that’s a shame, it’s time to go on home,
No buses now, no taxis there, oh plenty for to moan.

The weather’s good, the sun is out, the birds are three and twenty,
Not for long, the engines stopped with feathers, guts a-plenty.
Got on the plane at Exeter to fly on the red eye,
We flew on past the island cos there’s fog up in the sky.
We all went on to Jersey then back on the UK flight,
Did not arrive on island till later on that night.

Oh Sarnia Cherie, you are a very lovely land,
Maybe I should just give up, and cancel my travel plans.